My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
