your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
