So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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