D3 body, D1 cock
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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