i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
