I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
