I'm eating all of the evidence.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize