The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
