You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
