oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I am spending my child support on dildos
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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