I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
