Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
A+ Viking dick
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
