How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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