I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
