I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
