how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
