i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
