Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
