so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
