Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
