He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
