i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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