Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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