Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
