I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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