I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize