do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
