Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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