I'm lost and stupid without you.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
