That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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