So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
