I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
