My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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