I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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