This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
