Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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