this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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