I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
