it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
