never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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