I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
