He kissed a someone with a penis
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
