what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
