Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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