Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
