How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
