I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
