she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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