Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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