I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
