Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
At least life still wants to fuck me.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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