yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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