omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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