STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
