hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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