i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
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