I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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