What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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